Monday, September 29, 2008

Missing NOLA (Shocking), Missing Adolescence (Shocking in the Non-Sarcastic Way).

It takes so little for me to get nostalgic, especially about New Orleans. I miss the fetid shadiness and the three dimensional heat. I miss the drinking and drugging without consequence and the myriad crushes I got while down there--on men, women, and little things about the city itself (like the Vespa club). I even miss evacuating. Mainly, I miss how young I felt (and was) when I was there. Just about the only thing I don't miss are the dive-bombing cockroaches. I adore my life now, but every once in a while this creeps up on me. This time, it was brought upon by someone I knew very briefly and not very well, asking to be my "friend" on Myface or Spacebook or whatever. I met him through this other person I used to know (let's call him Lex). Lex was one of the very few people in my life who I am quite certain I will never see again, and who I am quite certain I will miss forever, every day. Well, almost. Just the sight of Lex's old roommate in the teeny box contaning his picture and "friend request" was enough to choke me up before I even knew what was causing it. None of this is really shocking.

What was shocking, however, was the nostalgia I felt this weekend while cleaning out my old room in my mom's house. I only actually lived in that house for five years, from age 13 until I left for college. Sure, there were several-week intervals here and there, times of trouble and financial strife and whatnot, but mostly, I was out of the nest at 18. For this reason, I was not really that upset when my mom told me she was going to sell her house. I had the best time cleaning out my old desk, though! It was also really great to show Boy the photos and letters I had saved from high school. I incorrectly remember high school a lot of the time...I remember having a lot less friends than was really the case. Some of the best things I found were letters and mix tapes from one person in particular. We had a bizzare relationship then, and that lasted a long time. But I want to thank this person now. Thanks. I think it was because of you that I learned exactly what I want in any friend or more-than-friend I have had or will ever have in my entire life. "On your chest there are flowers, you possess unearthly powers." Boo-yah.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Stuff in the Head...

I feel a mess. I need an everything-makeover. You know what I would love? To go on What Not To Wear, but to have it not be televised. I had a boyfriend once that I tried to get on Queer Eye just so we could have the apartment makeover.

It's all a part of this taking control thing.

I told you I'd have a story today...I lied. More to come.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Thera-post. I'm back.

So there's no real reason that I stopped blogging over a year ago, other than that I lost momentum, and no real reason that I haven't started up again when I wanted to. Well, I suppose that I figured the first post "back" should be at least a little meaningful...but...meh. None of the rest of these ever were, so here we are.

I have a few projects that I'd like to be working on right now. The idea is to clear away the rest of the crap, both mental crap and actual clutter, and hopefully this is the time I'll really start. I made a crazy little list, the subject of which was that I need to be the person in charge of my own life. This seems simple enough, and like my therapist said, it's kind of like a trite life-coaching mantra, but whatever works, right? The list just had on it a few things I want to change. Nothing giant...nothing that's a huge process. Just little things, the biggest one being that I am going to start the process of re-getting my drivers license on Friday. Boy is going to do it with me, too, being that his foreign-ass has never had a US drivers license. I have to take the permit test on Friday, and then I have to take a five-hour driving test. The lesson: don't let your license expire for more than two years.

I'll be back. I'll have a story or something. Thanks for indulging.