Wednesday, January 28, 2009

They're Humerous Folks, They Are, They Are.

I was going to do another not x365. I started it, and I realized that I can't post a not x365 about the family. It's too much.

I have an odd relationship with them, to say the least. Who doesn't, I know. So let's say this: I've got my own odd relationship with my family (namely, my mom and sister, called "Sitty" from here on out).

The three of us talk to each other approximately 7890548927054 times a day. I don't know why. I'm not sure when I signed on for this, but I know I'm guilty of it, too. Boy will come home and ask me "did you talk to Sitty today?" and I will just laugh. There's no day where the answer is no.

Does this mean we all get along happily? Are we all supertight? Puke. We get along, yes, but we're poster-people for our own brand of dysfunction just like everyone else (I won't get into specifics, because I'm not sure they'd appreciate it). Boy gets along with his brother really well, and they speak maybe once a month. I'd say they're possibly closer than me and some of my people. My friends look at me in pity and disgust as they make their once weekly phone calls. I do not know how to do this: be close, yet far. If they didn't hear from me for a month, they'd...well, I don't know what they'd do. It's never happened in the history of my life.

Meh. It's just how we are. We hate, we argue, we wrack up phone bills. It's our way.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Lowbrow Post

As my sister would say, I'm "not really feeling" today. But I couldn't not share this. Do you watch? It's never Lupus.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Putting Food on Your Family Since 2001

I'm a very happy girl today. I fear that for the past few months, I've been expecting too much of Barack (how sexy is that name, by the way), I've been expecting him to come into office and fix not only the Afghanistan/Gaza/Iraq situations, but also calm my neuroses, find me a better job, and make me a better hockey player. I'll try to chill out about that, but it's hard when I'm just so happy about GWB getting the fuck out of here, and the near miss of Devil-lady Palin.

So to keep this light-hearted and festive, here's some of my favorite Bushisms from the past years (though this leaves out my favorite..."too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all accross the country." Uhhhh, what?). From a humor standpoint, I'm gonna miss this asshole.

Which are your favorites? Are they on here?
Happy Obama day, all.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I Motherfucking Hate Being Sick


I'm sick. I'm a lot better than I was yesterday. I got home yesterday after a wave of nausea hit me so fast that I almost dropped. Gross.

More later. Whine, whine, whine.

Friday, January 9, 2009


So it was a bit longer of a hiatus then I'd planned. Oops. I don't have a ton of time right now, but I wanted to get the Naked ball rolling again (heh..."naked ball"), but just to keep you posted, since the last time we met, I:
  • Went to Montreal
  • Spoke "French" in Montreal, accomplished by putting the word "le" before every English noun and punctuating every sentence with "ahhh, oui!"
  • Went to Ottawa (these are not in order)
  • Saw 3 junior international junior hockey champion games at Scotiabank Place
  • Realized that I never need to see 2 ice hockey games in one day ever again, unless I'm playing in at least one of them
  • Saw "The Strangers"
  • Saw the Benjamin Button movie
  • Saw a real, genuine Montreal junkie
  • Was scared shitless by "The Strangers" and woke up freaked out about bag-headed people
  • Played shinny in Montreal
  • Have been entirely smoke-free in 2009, so far
  • Listened to my uncle shout the words "TRUE OR FALSE" to my grandmother
  • Received a "First Canadian Christmas" package from Boy's brother and sister-in-law, including a can of Molson Canadian and an actual tuque
  • Slept for six hours in the back of my friend's car
  • Had some very...ahem...satisfying experiences
  • Saw the rockin' view from my friend's new apartment and played with his dog
  • Bought a pink hockey stick from Sport Rousseau
  • Forgot to take my garbage out before going to Canada, and was pleasantly surprised by its non-stinkiness when we got home
  • Read The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx. Not as good as The Dirt, but still damn entertaining
  • Want to write more, bitch less
It's also worth mentioning that today, when I told my friend that I had slept with our annoying male Bikhram Yoga teacher (I didn't, but I wanted to see her reaction), she thanked me for trying to spice up the friendship. I laughed for five minutes straight. Also: this guy was someone I totally would have gone for in my younger days. Le Sigh. Young me was so dumb. Ahhh, oui.