Sunday, December 14, 2008

Open Letter

Dear People That Live Upstairs,

I think you are girls, and I think there are three of you. That's my best guess. Our apartment has three chambers that can reasonably be called bedrooms, so if you have the same layout as us, and if you're as young as I think you are, you probably use them all as bedrooms and split the rent.

Here's my question: how is it that you can possibly be so loud? I mean, you're always loud, but last night you really outdid yourselves. Boy and I are used to your little "conversations" that you have on the stairwell at top volume, usually one of you screaming, most likely drunk. But those are few and far between, and as they usually go on between the hours of 5pm and 9pm, they've never really bothered us. But clomping around at FOUR AM in the hallway, shouting on the stairs, and making your yappy dog wake up every time you walk in: NOT COOL. I don't care if it WAS a Saturday...I had a house-guest, bitches! A judgey one, too. A judgey houseguest that was considering moving to the area. I don't mind telling you: you ruined the borough for him, y'all.

Anyway, a version of this note is posted downstairs on my door. I should have said something to you whilest you were stomping your asses around this morning, but I was having a tumultuous night anyway and didn't have the energy to get out of bed.

Good day.

Your downstairs neighbor.


Crystal said...

Hey I didn't even know you and boy moved in together! Where are you living now? When can I come visit ; )

Chessa said...

ugh. that's the WORST. Knock on those bitches door and tell them to their face. Those whippersnappers need to be put in their place.
Seriously, last year we had these 21 year old a-holes living next to us and they would scream like animals at all hours. and, woke us up at least twice a week. Dough thinks I hated them simply bc they wre 21 and European and very beautiful...oh, and, we share a terrace and they would lay out on our chairs on our side...hello? why don't they just break in to my place and drink my wine and eat our food?! Bc I'm so wonderfully passive aggressive when I want to be, I would wake up at my usual 7:30 am and take a hammer and pretend to be hanging something on our shared wall. dumb sluts. our other neighbor knocked on their door at all hours and told them to shut the fuck up bc his bedroom was adjacent to their living room on the other side.

Now we have this couple next door and they seem to love each other but they have these screaming fights a few times a week. I've never heard anyone yell like that. wtf is wrong with people? they JUST got married. I wonder what people say about us? oy.

Monica said...

crys: you can come visit if you don't mind the clomping.

mon: the couple that lives next to you now...meh. what are you gonna do. sad that they just got married and do that, but maybe they're super-passionate. who knows. re: the bitches from last year...ugh! that makes me so mad (especially in light of recent events). i freaking hate these girls. i love doug's comment, though...sounds like something my man would say. i'll email you soon.

ironman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

You are really passive aggressive... you should confront them directly, right? You seem like you you have a lot of pent up anger towards them and that is really unhealthy... you seem so smart and there must be a better way to deal with this problem.

Anonymous said...

There fucking heating pads aren't even hot. Fuck dem bitches. How dare they have fun!

Monica said...

well, we did confront them. it actually went well.
half of what i write on here is for the humor value, anyway. but thanks for reading!