Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A Break From the Kid-Me Stuff

I'll do it again, just not now.

The other night, I got together with a friend, and we spoke about someone we'd met a few days before. The girl we'd met had something of a... rough...look about her. Someone recently reminded me of a word that used to be one of my favorites: "haggard." It wouldn't be so off the mark for me to call her that. Sweet girl. Very nice. Anyway.

So my friend and I start pontificating (to speak in a pompous and dogmatic manner) about why she looks that way. He comes up with the following nugget of wisdom:

"You know, I bet she has a kid. ALL WOMEN look like that after they have kids. I've seen it a million times"

My best judgement would have been to call him a giant jackass (just sort-of kidding, sweetie! Hi!) and forget it. What I did instead was wrack my brain for women we knew in common that had a kid or kids but looked, in no way, haggard. I came up with a girl that we knew, a girl that he'd even had a huge crush on. VERY cute. Not at all haggard. His retort? "Well, her kid's only three. It doesn't happen until the kid is around four or five."

Even though I know he has no clue what he's talking about, I left that dinner and said "I'm never having motherfucking kids." I have nary a wrinkle on my face, and neither does any female member of my family (even my grandmother has great skin), but that night I slathered on the moisturizer two inches thick.

In his defense, the next day, via text, he admitted he had no clue what he was talking about. I should have realized this. Another direct quote from this person:

"I almost told you that you look like you've lost weight. But I decided against it."

Tip for everyone? NEVER decide against it.

LUURVE ya, babe!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

and no wrinkles on yer butt?