Statuses I've Thought About Using When Updating My FaceBook Page

Feel free to weigh in!

Monica...

• never knows how much to tip the pedicure lady.
• never knows what will make her happy.
• wishes she did.
• thinks The Dark Knight could have been a lot shorter.
• thoroughly enjoyed Heath Ledger's performance in said movie.
• is publicly sorry that she waited until the last minute to say she couldn't go to your party with you.
• means that sincerely.
• misses NOLA every day.
• has to deal with the fact that there's someone out there that she wants to speak to that won't speak to her.
• has not dealt well with that so far.
• has done wrong by RA.
• feels alternately wronged and loved by RG.
• would much rather be a cannibal than be Amish.
• is terrified by the fact that she has never experienced writers block to this degree.
• would like to reiterate that: really terrified.
• can feel alternately very close to or estranged from her friends, the same friends, all in one day.
• hates that.
• doesn't care if people say it's disappointing--she will never tire of wanting to meet Tommy Lee.
• also feels that way about Nikki Sixx, but has never heard that it was disappointing.
• is thrilled to pieces about the arrival of her new friend Little T, who gets more freakin' great all the time.
• thinks that if she has kids, she definitely wants them to play hockey.
• thinks that hockey cures (most of) what ails you.
• has learned that there are other things except...ahem...substances that can make her feel alive.
• would be lying if she said they didn't (used to) help.
• thinks that nothing feels better than laughing until it really hurts. Pains.
• has fallen a little more in love with FG this year.
• wants next year to fall into place a little more.
• is wondering why she needs to hide behind fake FB status postings to be "naked."
• needs recommendations for the next good book to read.
• really enjoyed Slow Man.
• wants you to submit to Fat & Happy!
• wishes she could decide.
• thanks you for reading.